This Shabbos, David Schlesinger led discussion of this week’s parsha Devarim, and Rav Yeager’s commentary on the parsha. In the parsha Moses begins his repetition of the Torah and our history of what has happened with us up until that point. We talked about how much of this was a rebuke to us. Avishai pointed out that we had spent a total of 40 years wandering in the desert. And we discussed how this was a trip that only had to take us approximately 11 days.
We discussed how Moshe recounts in the parsha, how in our history an organizational structure was set up so that Moshe did not have to deal with things directly. We discussed how when this structure was set up, the people did not seem to care that they would no longer be able to learn from Moshe. We discussed how this made a “crack”, and how later in our history, especially with the sin of the spies, this crack widened up.
We had an interesting discussion at this point, on how it is the best way to rebuke people. David pointed out that rebuking that is based on truly caring about someone, that is done in a positive way – that this is the best way to rebuke because it is most motivating and minimize the probability of leave someone feeling bad. It is possible to force someone to change, but when people feel forced, at the first opportunity they will rebel and not show appreciation for the rebuke. This may all be a lesson for us in our personal lives, not only in how to rebuke people, but also to not take rebukes personally. We discussed how it can really be important how we word something. We have to be careful what we are implying.
We discussed how Moshe goes on to talk about how he himself is held accountable for what we did. We discussed how what happened with Moshe at the "rock", may have only been a minor contributor to Moshe not being able to enter Israel. Certainly Moshe had to wander the desert for 40 years, because of what we did and failed to do. Moshe failed to follow Hashem’s directives at the “rock”, but he was also held accountable for our actions.
We are all affected by what others do. David talked about how his father, HaRav Natan Ben HaRav Shmuel (Dr. Rabbi George Schlesinger) would tell a story of a few people riding in a boat. One of the people starts drilling a hole. In the parsha, Moshe talks about how our actions affected him, which is analogous to how someone drilling a hole in a boat would affect everyone.
This Shabbos we had a discussion of Tisha B’Av, and the entire month of Av leading up to this day. We discussed the different fast days that we have during the year. And we discussed how the month of Av is known as a time of mourning, but is actually a month where simchah continues just in a diminished state.
We discussed the purpose of diminished simchah in our life, which is to motivate us to deal with whatever the issue is. We discussed how the same way we feel physical pain, we may also feel emotional pain, such as depression. Depression can be a sign that there is something in our life that we need to deal with. We discussed how events in our lives are really experiences, which can have both good and bad points, and how we do not have to label things as “good” or “bad”. We discussed how “bad” things such as pain and depression may happen, so that we are motivated to turn these things into positives by doing good.
Finally, Brett brought up how every detail is in the Torah for a reason. And we wish Avishai the best on his return to Israel.
This is a summary of what we discussed. No Halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred
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