This Shabbos, David Schlesinger led discussion. We discussed parshas Nitzavim and Vayelech, and Rav Yeager’s commentary on the parsha. We also discussed commentary by Rav Cook, and the upcoming Rosh Hashanah holiday.
From Rav Yeager, we discussed the commitment a man and woman must make to each other before each may realize rights and benefits from the relationship. There are two formal periods of time. During the first period, the couple is committed to each other, however as of yet do not live together in marriage, and realize the benefits of marriage. During the second period of time, the couple are married, live together, and realize the rights and benefits of marriage. We discussed how in the Torah, the relationship we had as a nation with Hashem, needed to follow the same pattern as the relationship between the man and wife who have committed to each other.
When we received the commandments for the first time at Mt. Sinai, we were not committed and did not have any “skin in the game”. This contributed towards our committing the “sin of the Golden Calf”. When we received the commandments for the second time around, Hashem made sure we had more “skin in the game”. This second time around we took more ownership, and Moshe carved out the tablets himself. Even so, it was not until 40 years later, in this week’s parsha and on the occasion of the 120th birthday of Moshe, that we were finally ready to receive the details and make a long lasting covenant and agreement with Hashem that we would do our part and Hashem would do his. This week’s parsha marked for us the beginning of a new “marriage” with hashem in which we will benefit but must do our part.
This Shabbos we studied from another book which included Rav Cook’s commentary, and commentary on Rav Cook’s commentary. We discussed how we must believe in ourselves as a first step prior to doing T’shuva, and making self-improvements. From this week’s parsha, we had to believe in ourselves before going across the Jordan river into the land of Israel. If we do not believe we will succeed, or believe that we do not deserve to succeed, whether as a nation going into Israel for the first time, or as individuals striving for self-improvement, we are licked from the start.
David talked about how it is important to have self-worth no matter what shortcomings we may have. We discussed how we have a pure soul that is basically good, but sometimes we need to do some maintenance. We discussed how this is similar to a car that has a good engine, but perhaps has a light bulb that is burned out, or needs new tires. If we believe the car is entirely worthless, we would have little motivation to fix any of it. By believing in this car, that it is basically fine and runs well, we start off with a positive foundation in our perception and thinking, that is most effective in bringing on change for the better.
Norm brought up the topic of 12 step self-improvement programs, how they relate to this, and I shared about my familiarity with these programs as well. We must believe in ourselves, and that we have a disease and not a moral failing. However, even if the disease is not our fault we have a responsibility to treat it, by working and living the 12 steps and taking measures to have a healthier life in all ways. In the first step we admit our powerlessness, and how our life has become unmanageable. We had tried to stop, change and/or control a behavior on our own only to realize we were powerless to do so. In the 12 step program, we surrender and move on to the second step in which we begin to acquire hope that a power greater than ourselves, aka Hashem, can help us. In the third step we make an agreement with Hashem that we will do our part and he will do his. This is similiar to the covenant that we make with Hashem in this week's parsha.
This Shabbos, we discussed the upcoming holiday of Rosh Hashanah, and how the right approach to take is the positive approach, rather than being fearful and dreading the holiday. Our goal is to do the best we can to move in the direction of having a closer relationship with Hashem by doing t’shuva. Norm pointed out how the long uninterrupted sound of the shofar, represents our moving in this right direction. This is a healthier approach, than having as our goal simply avoiding negatives. We discussed, how what is best is to identify negatives, but use them as opportunities to grow. During Rosh Hashanah we can identify these opportunities. Identifying opportunities for growth is a large part of 12 step programs.
We continued our discussion of the second part of Rav Yeager commentary. We learned how we should replace fear by faith in Hashem. There is no guarantee that everything will turn out any certain way, but we can be sure it is all part of Hashem’s plan for us. This was particularly important for us in anticipation of upcoming battles that would be necessary to conquer the land of Israel. And we can apply this to our lives today, to not have fear and realize whatever happens is for the best even if it does not seem so good at the time it occurs.
We discussed how in the parsha Moses tells Joshua not to lead us into Israel, but to go with us. This indicates the importance in being humble, and realizing that our governance comes from Hashem and that even our leaders are simply servants. It is important for Joshua to realize that he will need to get guidance from the elders, and to remember who is really in charge.
This is a summary of what we discussed. No Halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.
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