Recap for 14 Elul 5775 (Parsha Ki Teitzei)

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Ki Teitzei including commentary by Rav Yeager from his new book, Paths. It was nice to see some folks we have not seen in a while including some new faces.  David Schlesinger led discussion.

We discussed some of the mitzvah that are included in the parsha, including the mitzvah to marry one's sister-in-law when a deceased brother is left childless.  We discussed how today we do not practice this, however it is important to understand the reasons for this mitzvah.

We discussed the different levels of motivation that exist, for doing what is right, following the Torah, and doing mitzvah. At the lowest level, fear of punishment motivates us. As a parent, we may punish a child for doing something wrong. Hopefully, the fear of punishment will prevent this child from doing wrong again. We discussed that in order for this to work, punishment needs to be based on logic and facts and not on our emotions.

David commented that it is not good parenting to punish children simply to “let out steam”, or because we feel like it emotionally. Norm has reminded us in past discussions that our head is on top of our heart and at the top of our body. We should use our head and not emotions in determining when to punish children, and in determining our behavior in general.

At a higher level, and as we grow up, we switch over to positive re-enforcement type motivation.   Love is an example of a positive motivator.  We love Hashem and want to get as close to possible to him. We are motivated by this love by following his Torah, and carrying out his will for us as best as possible. We discussed how positive motivation usually works better for people, but sometimes we have no choice but to punish others.

As an example of all this, those who make aliyah to Israel are motivated by love, love for hashem and love for Israel.  I really admire and appreciate everyone who has made Aliyah to Israel, or who has inspired others to do so.  I was thinking in particular how much I admire and appreciate those from our community who help defend Israel by serving in the IDF.  We discussed this Shabbos that there is always a need to help support and defend Israel. 

We had a long discussion on the topic of self will and what really motivates us. Did Hashem design us to only do what is in our self-interest?   I think we do tend to act out in self-will, but we should strive to align our self-will with Hashem’s will, so at some point it would take an effort not to follow what Hashem wants us to do.

We can determine Hashem’s will from his Torah, and also from our personal experiences in life. Yaki shared how Hashem has specific plans for us. Yaki commented that what we experience as individuals, communities, and nations is meant to be.  David commented that this is the best of all possible worlds, and things play out like they do in order that we can have a virtuous response.

Charlie commented that we have free will, but hashem “knows” how we are going to use our free will. Of course the definition of the word “knows” with respect to hashem may be different than what we are use to so it is not clear what this means.  

Ellie suggested we will never know for certain if Hashem exists, is a concept, or what. Charlie commented we need to want to believe in Hashem.  It just makes more sense to me personally that Hashem exists.  It is the most reasonable of all possible explanations.  We have discussed some of the evidence for Hashem's existence, such as the article concerning the odds of a planet having the necessary conditions for life, and articles by David's father.  And I'm glad that Hashem's existence is the most reasonable explanation, because it certainly gives my life more purpose and meaning.

We discussed this Shabbos how Hashem gives to us some absoluteness in a world of relativity, with respect to ethics and morality. We don’t first learn what is ethical and then conclude that following hashem’s Torah is ethical. The Torah defines what is ethical.

Most other things in life are relative. For example, we have discussed in the past whether the world is “good” or “bad” overall. We could argue this forever, because it is relative to the person. But ethics is not relative.

Moral behavior, such as being honest, loving others, having integrity is not relative. Charlie commented that someone who is ethical and moral but is not perfectly observant is a better person than someone who is perfectly observant but is not ethical, in business or in life. Having said this, no one is perfect and I myself have been dishonest and not loving of others in the past.  

Of course it is possible to overdo it with anything. There are mitzvahs to be kind to others, but for example, 2 people could argue forever who is going to pay a bill, if they both want to pay for a lunch. David told a story from his dad, Dr. George Schlesinger, where 2 people would both want to do the mitzvah of walking someone home after a get together. They would go back and forth and no one would ever get to their destination!

We discussed the month of Elul, and how we are approaching the time of year in which if we have not been loving of others, honest towards others, or harmed others, we will need to seek forgiveness. We discussed how Elul is a time of year in which we are particularly aware of hashem, and should be making inventory of our year.

This is a summary of what we discussed. No Halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

Recap for 30 Av 5775 (Parsha Re'eh)

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Re’eh, including commentary from Rav Yeager.  We began studying a new book from Rav Yeager know as Paths.

In the parsha, there is discussion of blessings and curses.  There are rewards and punishments that are consequences of our actions.  We discussed the idea that the rewards are already built into the world. Hashem assumes that we will use our free will to make the right choices, to the best of our ability.  It is when we do not make the right choices, that Hashem has to intervene and hold us back from receiving a blessing.

We discussed the idea that mitzvahs are blessings in and of themselves.  Doing mitzvah brings us closer to hashem, and brings us the opportunity to do more and more mitzvah.  In the world to come, we benefit tremendously from how close we are to hashem.  David has shared in the past how his father compares this as getting ready for an opera.

We discussed this idea that every opportunity we have to do a mitzvah is a blessing, because it will bring us the opportunity to do an increasing number of mitzvahs. David told a story from his dad about how giving tzedukah to people, will lead to more and more people coming to ask for tzedukah. Of course it is important to ask people and research where the donations are going to make sure we are really doing a mitzvah!  

We discussed the question of whether or not the world is good overall. If hashem has built in blessings, and the times when he has to intervene are exceptions to the rule, does this mean the world is good overall? It seems like people could argue this question forever. Perhaps hashem created the world so that we would all have the free will to perceive the answer to this question as we wish, the same way we can perceive the answer to the question of Hashem's existence as we wish.

I personally choose to believe the world is good overall because that has been my experience. Every country I have visited there are hospitals, police, ambulances, some sense of law and order, but I understand others have had different experiences in their life.

David brought up some interesting questions about how we would design things if we were hashem. 

David shared about how his father would say this is the most perfect of possible worlds. If we could perfectly understand the world we would be hashem. But some things do seem to be designed with certain objectives in mind.

Hashem wants us to have free will, and have something to do. If hashem was out and visible we would automatically follow each and every directive in the Torah automatically and be robots instead of people. If everything was perfectly good, we would not know things were good as there would be nothing in which to compare. We would have nothing to do. There would really be no reason for us to be here, at all.

David mentioned again the idea from his Dad with respect to the virtuous response to suffering. Sometimes we feel a lot of stress – I know I have recently – and wonder what in the world could be the virtuous response to this? Sometimes at least with me the stress is there because it is something I have never dealt with before, so maybe this is an opportunity to learn something new and grow stronger.

Norm shared about how we have some choices in life. We can see the glass as half empty or half full. We can decide how long we want to hold on to things which can be represented as glasses or other objects. If we hold onto them for a little while, we will be fine, but after a while our arm is going to get tired. Norm shared about the importance of letting things go, and turning things over to Hashem after we have done all we can.

David shared how his father would say if Hashem is not the creator of everything, omni present, and having always existed, then we would ask what is the point of worshipping him.  We discussed how hashem not only created us to have free will, but created us to have something to do as well. Yaki shared how there are specific plans and missions for each and every one of us. Who we meet, and what we experience may give us some clues as to Hashem’s plans for us. David has shared about how we are all on a team with each of us occupying certain positions.

Eliona shared about her recent trip to Poland and Denmark and Israel. My grandmother is from Poland, so I really related to all this. My grandmother was lucky to escape from there many years ago, and it seems that it may still be a place worth escaping from.   Eliona also shared about being in Denmark, and how some people there have obstacles that make it hard for them to practice our relgion. She then shared about arriving in Israel and the emotional experience of going to the Kottel. I related to this, remembering the first time I went to the Kottel back in 2010.

This is a summary of what we discussed. No Halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

Recap for 16 Av 5775 (Parsha Va'etchanan)

 This Shabbos we discussed how everyone can help our early minyan.  Please come to our early minyan, and bring a friend(s), if possible.  Please let others know about us.

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Va’etchanan, including commentary by Rav Yeager on the parsha. We discussed how in the parsha the 10 commandments are repeated, starting with the first commandment which comes in the form of a statement from Hashem, that “ I am your God who took you out of Egypt”.

We discussed what this first commandment means - that there is a God, and we need to have faith in this God. We discussed how belief in Hashem, as the creator of everything, always playing an active role in the world and in our lives, is the foundation of Judaism and our belief system.

We discussed how Hashem has always existed, and it is he who brought the world into existence. We discussed the importance of the wording of the very first sentence in Bereishit.  Hashem always must come first. We do not want any suggestion that “in the beginning” came before Hashem.

One of the fundamental beliefs we have is that the physical world, which includes time, did not always exist, and was brought into existence by Hashem. This idea has been stated in our Torah for thousands of years.  In the 1970’s, science finally “caught up” to the Torah, and with the “big bang” theory finally agreed that time had a beginning.

Science has finally caught up to the Torah in other ways.  It has recently been scientifically discovered, that even with the enormous number of planets that exist, the probability that one of them would contain the necessary conditions for life is virtually zero.  Science has finally caught up - by strongly suggesting that the work of a creator is substantially more likely than the conditions of life emerging randomly, let alone life itself emerging.

We discussed the mitzvah of “clinging” to Hashem. In the Torah Moshe is never able to “get” to Hashem completely. Hashem gets down to earth, but does not get down to the final 10 t’fachem. Moshe gets up to the heavens, but does not get to the final 10 t’fachem.  So what does "clinging" to hashem mean?

Brett suggested that we could cling to Hashem spiritually.  We will never be able to comprehend Hashem completely.  However, we can “cling” to Hashem, and comprehend him, by emulating his actions.  Some of these actions that we discussed include burying the dead, and taking care of the sick.

Dave W brought up one way we can cling to Hashem, which is to love other Jews, which has not been going on recently in Israel. There has been attacks on others because they are perceived as not following standards or at the same level as others. Sometimes we do very well with the detailed halakuh that is easy to measure, such as eating only kosher food, but then fail at more general halakuh such as peace and love towards others.

We discussed this Shabbos the idea of a Khumra, which is adding a “fence” around the Torah. As we know the Rabbis implemented additional halakha, in order to protect the halakha in the Torah. It is important of course that we follow halakha to the best of our ability, but sometimes we overdo it by taking it upon ourselves to add on additional restrictions which have never been called for.

We discussed how it is an important part of Judaism to go ahead and enjoy some pleasures.  Denying ourselves pleasure is not necessary a mitzvah.  In fact, it can be the opposite of a mitzvah.  We discussed how there will be an accounting, and we will have to answer why we did not engage in some pleasures. So it is not desirable to think that the more strict we are the better.

However, there is an exception if we have a weakness for something. For example, someone who has a weakness for alcohol, can and should restrict themselves to grape juice and not do Kiddush over wine. Or perhaps someone has a weakness for certain foods.

In general the restrictions we have should be enough for us. We discussed how it would be considered “showing off” to stand for an entire service, or say additional blessings that are not called for.

Brian brought up the additional days of Yom Tov. Would it be considered an unnecessary khumra to observe additional days of yom tov?  We concluded that this is not an unnecessary khumra because we go strict when in doubt about a Torah level commandment.  

 How about wearing a kippuh, which is never specifically mentioned in the Torah?  This has become a tradition that we follow. We discussed how our head covering symbolizes Hashem “above us”, and the fact we need this higher power above us - as we can not control everything.  

Traditions are not unnecessary Khumra's, as long as these are the traditions that everyone follows. An example we discussed, if we go to a shul and everyone is wearing Tefillin during Chol Chomod, it is not an unnecessary khumra to wear tefillin.  But if noone is wearing Tefillin, it would be considered "showing off" and an unnecessary khumra to wear tefillin.

Finally, we discussed that back in history - we would daven with robes and needed to wear a gertel. Brian pointed out that today we have ways of dealing with this, such as belts that separate the lower and upper body.

This is a summary of what we discussed. No Halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.