This Shabbos we discussed parsha Ki Teitzei including commentary by Rav Yeager from his new book, Paths. It was nice to see some folks we have not seen in a while including some new faces. David Schlesinger led discussion.
We discussed some of the mitzvah that are included in the parsha, including the mitzvah to marry one's sister-in-law when a deceased brother is left childless. We discussed how today we do not practice this, however it is important to understand the reasons for this mitzvah.
We discussed the different levels of motivation that exist, for doing what is right, following the Torah, and doing mitzvah. At the lowest level, fear of punishment motivates us. As a parent, we may punish a child for doing something wrong. Hopefully, the fear of punishment will prevent this child from doing wrong again. We discussed that in order for this to work, punishment needs to be based on logic and facts and not on our emotions.
David commented that it is not good parenting to punish children simply to “let out steam”, or because we feel like it emotionally. Norm has reminded us in past discussions that our head is on top of our heart and at the top of our body. We should use our head and not emotions in determining when to punish children, and in determining our behavior in general.
At a higher level, and as we grow up, we switch over to positive re-enforcement type motivation. Love is an example of a positive motivator. We love Hashem and want to get as close to possible to him. We are motivated by this love by following his Torah, and carrying out his will for us as best as possible. We discussed how positive motivation usually works better for people, but sometimes we have no choice but to punish others.
As an example of all this, those who make aliyah to Israel are motivated by love, love for hashem and love for Israel. I really admire and appreciate everyone who has made Aliyah to Israel, or who has inspired others to do so. I was thinking in particular how much I admire and appreciate those from our community who help defend Israel by serving in the IDF. We discussed this Shabbos that there is always a need to help support and defend Israel.
We had a long discussion on the topic of self will and what really motivates us. Did Hashem design us to only do what is in our self-interest? I think we do tend to act out in self-will, but we should strive to align our self-will with Hashem’s will, so at some point it would take an effort not to follow what Hashem wants us to do.
We can determine Hashem’s will from his Torah, and also from our personal experiences in life. Yaki shared how Hashem has specific plans for us. Yaki commented that what we experience as individuals, communities, and nations is meant to be. David commented that this is the best of all possible worlds, and things play out like they do in order that we can have a virtuous response.
Charlie commented that we have free will, but hashem “knows” how we are going to use our free will. Of course the definition of the word “knows” with respect to hashem may be different than what we are use to so it is not clear what this means.
Ellie suggested we will never know for certain if Hashem exists, is a concept, or what. Charlie commented we need to want to believe in Hashem. It just makes more sense to me personally that Hashem exists. It is the most reasonable of all possible explanations. We have discussed some of the evidence for Hashem's existence, such as the article concerning the odds of a planet having the necessary conditions for life, and articles by David's father. And I'm glad that Hashem's existence is the most reasonable explanation, because it certainly gives my life more purpose and meaning.
We discussed the month of Elul, and how we are approaching the time of year in which if we have not been loving of others, honest towards others, or harmed others, we will need to seek forgiveness. We discussed how Elul is a time of year in which we are particularly aware of hashem, and should be making inventory of our year.
David commented that it is not good parenting to punish children simply to “let out steam”, or because we feel like it emotionally. Norm has reminded us in past discussions that our head is on top of our heart and at the top of our body. We should use our head and not emotions in determining when to punish children, and in determining our behavior in general.
At a higher level, and as we grow up, we switch over to positive re-enforcement type motivation. Love is an example of a positive motivator. We love Hashem and want to get as close to possible to him. We are motivated by this love by following his Torah, and carrying out his will for us as best as possible. We discussed how positive motivation usually works better for people, but sometimes we have no choice but to punish others.
As an example of all this, those who make aliyah to Israel are motivated by love, love for hashem and love for Israel. I really admire and appreciate everyone who has made Aliyah to Israel, or who has inspired others to do so. I was thinking in particular how much I admire and appreciate those from our community who help defend Israel by serving in the IDF. We discussed this Shabbos that there is always a need to help support and defend Israel.
We had a long discussion on the topic of self will and what really motivates us. Did Hashem design us to only do what is in our self-interest? I think we do tend to act out in self-will, but we should strive to align our self-will with Hashem’s will, so at some point it would take an effort not to follow what Hashem wants us to do.
We can determine Hashem’s will from his Torah, and also from our personal experiences in life. Yaki shared how Hashem has specific plans for us. Yaki commented that what we experience as individuals, communities, and nations is meant to be. David commented that this is the best of all possible worlds, and things play out like they do in order that we can have a virtuous response.
Charlie commented that we have free will, but hashem “knows” how we are going to use our free will. Of course the definition of the word “knows” with respect to hashem may be different than what we are use to so it is not clear what this means.
Ellie suggested we will never know for certain if Hashem exists, is a concept, or what. Charlie commented we need to want to believe in Hashem. It just makes more sense to me personally that Hashem exists. It is the most reasonable of all possible explanations. We have discussed some of the evidence for Hashem's existence, such as the article concerning the odds of a planet having the necessary conditions for life, and articles by David's father. And I'm glad that Hashem's existence is the most reasonable explanation, because it certainly gives my life more purpose and meaning.
We discussed this Shabbos how Hashem gives to us some absoluteness in a world of relativity, with respect to ethics and morality. We don’t first learn what is ethical and then conclude that following hashem’s Torah is ethical. The Torah defines what is ethical.
Most other things in life are relative. For example, we have discussed in the past whether the world is “good” or “bad” overall. We could argue this forever, because it is relative to the person. But ethics is not relative.
Moral behavior, such as being honest, loving others, having integrity is not relative. Charlie commented that someone who is ethical and moral but is not perfectly observant is a better person than someone who is perfectly observant but is not ethical, in business or in life. Having said this, no one is perfect and I myself have been dishonest and not loving of others in the past.
Most other things in life are relative. For example, we have discussed in the past whether the world is “good” or “bad” overall. We could argue this forever, because it is relative to the person. But ethics is not relative.
Moral behavior, such as being honest, loving others, having integrity is not relative. Charlie commented that someone who is ethical and moral but is not perfectly observant is a better person than someone who is perfectly observant but is not ethical, in business or in life. Having said this, no one is perfect and I myself have been dishonest and not loving of others in the past.
Of course it is possible to overdo it with anything. There are mitzvahs to be kind to others, but for example, 2 people could argue forever who is going to pay a bill, if they both want to pay for a lunch. David told a story from his dad, Dr. George Schlesinger, where 2 people would both want to do the mitzvah of walking someone home after a get together. They would go back and forth and no one would ever get to their destination!
We discussed the month of Elul, and how we are approaching the time of year in which if we have not been loving of others, honest towards others, or harmed others, we will need to seek forgiveness. We discussed how Elul is a time of year in which we are particularly aware of hashem, and should be making inventory of our year.
This is a summary of what we discussed. No Halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.
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