Recap for 15 Tevet 5776 (Parsha Vayechi)

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Vayechi, including commentary by Rav Yeager. David Schlesinger led discussion.

We discussed how in the Torah, Jacob did not know that Joseph was alive, and felt that he had been a failure for not being able to continue our faith and traditions through his chosen son Joseph. We discussed how this feeling of failure led to depression in Jacob, and thoughts that he was going to be going to Gehinnom after passing away.  However, as we know from parsha Vayechi, eventually Jacob sees that Joseph is alive, and that his wishes will be carried out.

We discussed what Judaism believes about Gehinnom. Gehinnom is not a horrible place with fire and torture, although it is not necessarily pleasant.   It is believed to be a place where some of us have to go through a cleansing process after our physical body passes away.  Many of us can bypass Gehinnom completely, by living a good life and doing T'Shuva when we make mistakes.  Gehinnom is of course a spiritual and not a physical place.

Even after going through Gehinnom, the rewards of the after-life can vary depending on the health and state of our souls. While we are alive we have the opportunity to strengthen our souls by learning Torah, doing mitzvah, carrying out Hashem’s will for us, and being a Kiddush Hashem.  Although our physical bodies will expire, our souls live on forever.  We can elevate our souls while we are alive, and also have our souls elevated after we pass away, through the actions of others who are inspired by our lives.

David shared some thoughts from his father on this topic. Those who do not live a good and purposeful life, may not go through a horrible existence in the afterlife, but will experience regret of lost opportunity. David shared thoughts from his father how this is similar to getting ready for an opera. Those who are prepared for the opera, get a lot of enjoyment out of sitting through a concert. Those who are unprepared are bored and regret not being prepared. The afterlife for some may end up being very empty but we have the opportunity to make it a very satisfying and rewarding experience by maintaining a soul that is healthy and always growing, and doing T'Shuva when necessary.

We discussed what it means to be a leader.  It is important that we have the right motivation to get spiritual as well as physical benefit from this position.  The proper motivation is to serve God and carry out his will and good for everyone. Self-esteem, looking good, feeling powerful, being respected, may all be good for us, but should not be our primary motivation.

One thing to remember is that no one is perfect. We discussed some of the mistakes that were made by our ancestors in the Torah. Jacob used his emotions to some extent, favoring Joseph over his brothers, rather than thinking through things logically. Joseph let the idea of being a leader inflate his ego a little, and had some motivation based on purely physical and emotional rewards. Joseph’s brothers let jealousy influence their decisions to some extent, and did not realize that Joseph’s life of physicality was also spiritual in nature.

Jason shared that it is human nature to be motivated by emotion.  We discussed how we strive to live a balance in which emotions play a role in our life to some extent. Emotions can sometimes be strong and healthy motivators. Hashem created us with emotions for a reason, but sometimes they can get us into trouble, which is why Hashem also created us with free will and the ability to think.

We all have an opportunity to do t’shuva for our mistakes and avoid having to go to Gehinnom at all. We discussed last Shabbos how Joseph’s brothers did T’Shuva, refusing to leave Egypt without Benjamin, and showing great concern for the feelings of their father. In particular, Judah insisted he be put into slavery in place of Benjamin, which was the ultimate T’Shuva for putting Joseph into slavery years earlier. Joseph did T’Shuva by not using his power to put his brothers down, but for embracing his brothers and understanding that his story of being sent to Egypt was all orchestrated by and the plans of God. 

This Shabbos we also discussed some of the halakhah forbidding being wasteful. In particular, we should try not to throw away items such as food. We can give the food to someone else, to charity, or even feed it to a pet. We discussed how eating something when we are not hungry, so that it won’t be “wasted” is actually wasting food, and should be avoided. We also discussed some of the exceptions, such as ripping garments when we are in mourning. In this case, the spiritual benefits outweigh any issues with being wasteful.

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

Recap for 7 Tevet 5776 (Parsha Vayigash)

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Vayigash, including commentary from Rav Yeager. We studied tractate Sotah and held a Siyum. And we discussed why Hashem seems to be hidden, and several other topics. David Schlesinger led discussion.

This Shabbos we studied the very last part of tractate Sotah. We discussed how a woman would be required to drink a certain potion, in order to tell if she had been unfaithful to her husband. We discussed how later this practice was discontinued, because it was no longer thought to work. After completing the daf, we held a Siyum to celebrate the finishing of this tractate. The Siyum was held in memory of David’s uncle Micah, whose yeirzeit is coming up soon. The Siyum was also held in honor of David’s cousin, who has a new baby boy.

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Vayigash including commentary from Rav Yeager. We discussed how in the parsha, Joseph demands that Benjamin remain behind in Egypt as a slave. We discussed how this was done in order to test the brothers, to see how they would react to leaving a son of Rachel in slavery. We discussed how this situation was similar to leaving Joseph in the pit to be sold into slavery, as Joseph was also a son of Rachel and very much favored by his father.

We discussed how the ultimate t’shuvah is to be in the very same situation again, but this time to make the right decision. The brothers passed the test and refused to leave Benjamin. In fact, Judah offered to take the place of Benjamin. And this time around, the brothers showed great concern for their father, Jacob, and how it would affect Jacob to lose Benjamin.  We discussed how Jacob favored Benjamin, just as he had favored Joseph, to be the best antidote to Esau.  Having passed the test, Joseph began to think differently about his brothers, which led to him forgiving them and inviting them to come to Egypt where they would be able to make a good living in Goshen.

We discussed that it was at the point that Joseph could see that his dream came true, that he knew we had become a nation and that we would no longer be excluding people. We discussed how up until that point, with each generation, a brother had been excluded and a brother had been chosen. From amongst Abraham’s children, Ishmuel was excluded, and Isaac was chosen. Then from amongst Isaac's children, Esau was excluded, and Jacob was chosen. Jacob initially choose Joseph, however Joseph knew that now we were a nation and that none of his brothers would be excluded. This is all why today, as Jews we are descendants of all the children of Jacob, but we are not descendants of all the children of Isaac, or all the children of Abraham.

We discussed why the brothers had thrown Joseph in the pit in the first place. The brothers were concerned that Joseph was too much into the physical, for our faith to continue through to his descendants. What the brothers did not realize, was that Joseph actually applied spirituality to the physical. Nevertheless, his brothers felt that Joseph should be excluded, as had been Ishmael and Esau. The brothers did not think Jacob would choose the right brother(s) to continue our faith, noting that in the past generations the father did not play the best role in choosing the right sons. The brothers felt they had a responsibility to make sure our faith did not flow through Joseph to his descendants.

We discussed how the brothers were also very concerned about Joseph’s dream, and that they would be attacked by Joseph. The brothers felt that it was simply self-defense to put Joseph in the pit, and that they were doing the right thing.

Norm shared how Joseph first changed his thoughts and then changed his actions. Joseph changed his beliefs about his brothers, once he could see that his dream had become true. Joseph began to believe we were a nation that would include descendants from all his brothers, who had done t’shuvah.

Norm shared how changing our thoughts and believes can lead to behavior changes, but that it can be very difficult to change our beliefs. In our personal lives it may be beneficial to us to try to control our thoughts and not only what we do, as controlling thoughts can help lead to changes in behavior. We discussed how Judaism is about action and doing, but changing our thoughts can be a strategy that leads to this.

We discussed how in the parsha, Joseph instructs his brothers to not tell the whole truth. He instructs them to tell Pharaoh that they are only there to be shepherds. We discussed whether or not this means we do not have to tell the whole truth when people ask us questions? Of course in court we may be required to tell the whole truth, but in real life this is not always the case. As an example, David commented that if someone asks what we do for a living, we don’t necessarily have to tell them everything.

We discussed how nowadays we are done excluding people from our faith, as was done to Ishmael and Esau. If it appears that someone has strayed from our faith, it is important that we accept them and welcome them back, rather than judging them and rejecting their return. We discussed how in Judaism we are always Jewish no matter what. It is important that we do outreach and try to attract people back into our way of life.

This Shabbos we had a discussion about animals. We discussed how amongst all animals, the strongest is considered the lion. However, David shared a story from his dad about how an elephant showed his disagreement to a lion! We discussed how Joseph was considered an Ox, which is the strongest of domestic animals.

This Shabbos we also discussed some more why Hashem seems to be hidden in our world which hasn’t always been the case. Seth pointed out that Hashem has always remained hidden, but being “hidden” is relative to the times people were living in. Seth pointed out that back in time, when Hashem would perform miracles such as splitting of the sea, it could be easily explained away as having been caused by the stars and planets or something like that.

Today, we have a greater understanding of the stars and planets, so that Hashem has to maintain what seems to be a better job of hiding.  Hashem wants us to be able to explain away the evidence of his existence if this is what we choose to do.  However, he also wants us to be able to see that the evidence of his existence is convincing.  It is definitely a balancing act that depends on the times, but if a balance is not maintained this takes away free will and we are forced to believe one way or another.

David commented that perhaps in the beginning Hashem had to show us certain things, similar to a parent teaching a child. And later in history, just like a child grows up, we should already know these things and it is no longer necessary for Hashem to be so obvious. Perhaps it is a combination of both Seth's and David's comments that explain why Hashem has remained hidden at the level that he does.
Finally, happy birthday to Gabriel Itkowitz, and to my father, Yoseph ben Abraham.  

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

Recap for 30 Kislev 5776 (Parsha Mikeitz)

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Mikeitz, including commentary by Rav Yeager.  We discussed the holiday of Chanukah, including commentary by Rav Malamed.  And we discussed some other topics. David Schlesinger led discussion.  We were happy to welcome a lot of guys from the Yeshiva this Shabbos.

We discussed how we face temptations in life that may provide us some short term benefits, but these are at the expense of long term well-being.  We know the temptations that were in the Garden of Eden.  Today in the modern world, we face all types of temptations that may bring us some short term reward.  But using our free will to avoid temptations will bring us long term rewards.

We discussed how we often face short term vs long term decisions. For example, David commented that it is tempting in ones 20’s to buy as many physical goods and services as possible, especially when one may be experiencing the freedom to do this for the first time.  But by starting to save money early in life, one can save twice as much than they would if they started saving in their 30’s.  I once read a book on this, and this is very true that starting ones savings as early as possible is very beneficial.

David brought up a couple suggestions that will help make us more successful in life. The first of these is to work towards solving problems, rather than to blame problems for a lack of progress. If our attempts at solving the problems fail, try something else.  We discussed how the last thing that our boss at work wants to hear is that we can’t do anything because of a problem.  What our boss does want to hear is that there is a problem, but what we are doing to help solve it.

The same way we should not blame a problem for lack of progress at work, we should not blame a problem for lack of progress in life and expect Hashem to fix it unless we have made a resonable effort to do our part.  The second suggestion David brought up, is that the effort we make in life to solve problems and make progress should be reasonable and logical before we conclude we have done the best we can and can have faith in Hashem to assist us further.  For example, if we are out of money, buying lottery tickets is not making a reasonable effort in which we can expect Hashem to help us. However, if we come up with a plan and strategy to get a job including interviewing and asking friends about openings, and then start implementing this plan, that might be a reasonable and logical effort.

Once we have done our part, having faith in Hashem that we do not have to control everything is important.  We should live in peace, knowing that even “bad” things that happen to us are just an experience and part of Hashem’s world.  In Hashem's world, what's "bad" can be "good", we just don't have the same access to the complete picture as Hashem does.  We may lose a job or a relationship and be very sad only to realize the next job or relationship is better than anything we have had yet to date. This has happened to me before! Sometimes we discover years later why something "bad" may have happened.  This has also happened to me.  “Bad” things may actually lead us to become closer to Hashem, closer to our families, or provide an opportunity to have a virtuous response, an idea that David’s father, Dr. George Schlesinger has spoken and written articles about.  Hashem designed the world to maximize our opportunities to do mitzvahs and grow spiritually.  

Hashem also designed the world so we would all have the opportunity to finish the act of creation. We have discussed how Brit Milah is something we do to help finish the act of creation. Some of the other ways we can help finish the act of creation is by doing work, raising families, and serving in the military.  All these can help make the world a better place. We discussed that it is important that we have a balance of learning Torah and contributing to the world and being partners in the act of creation.

We discussed this Shabbos the importance of accepting Jews no matter where they are on their paths. If anything, we should look at the vector or direction people are going with their Judaism, and their progress rather than where they are at. I can not express how grateful I am personally that the community here in Memphis did not judge me when I lived downtown and was very secular. I can remember going to the Rabbi’s house on Shabbos night to his open house and he never would exclude anyone. If he had excluded me, I do not know if I would have continued to progress because it was at his Kiddush that I met people who invited me to the Kiddush and minyans I go to today.  I actually had fears that I would be judged, and if I had been I doubt I would have had any growth in Judaism at all.

This Shabbos we discussed the holiday of Chanukah. We discussed how observing Chanukah is one of 7 mitzvah’s that were implemented by Rabbis, other than mitzvahs designed to help us keep Torah level commandments. We discussed how woman should be involved in Chanukah in lighting the candles of their own menorah, even though this is a time dependent mitzvah, as they were involved in the miracle of the oil and our triumph over the surrounding culture.

We discussed how we light Chanukah candles before Shabbot candles on Shabbos night. We discussed how it is necessary to use extra-long candles, which can be created by cutting the wicks shorter. If someone is in a hospital or somewhere that flames are not allowed or safe, it is permitted to use electric menorahs. It is also not required to relight candles that have gone out, as long as we made a reasonable effort to not have the candles at unnecessary risk of this happening.

Finally, one of the most important traditions is that the menorah be in plain view of the outside, during the hours that workers come home right after sunset. David shared how his guys in Israel have a menorah right out on the porch facing the street.  Here in Memphis, we should try to place menorahs so they face clearly out the window.

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

Recap for 23 Kislev 5776 (Parsha Vayeishev and yahrzeit of Joseph Ben Abraham)

This Shabbos was a special Shabbos as I very much appreciate our learning was in memory of my father, Joseph Ben Abraham, whose yahrzeit is this coming Tuesday. This Shabbos we discussed the holiday of Chanukah, and parsha Vayeishev.

Last year I wrote about my Dad, how he was not religious but was a very good person who received happiness out of doing mitzvah. I also shared about how I have been using some of the memory tricks he taught me to write these notes every Shabbos.  Some more about my Dad - he liked to joke around a lot and did not like everything to be serious. He would have liked our kiddush and learning!  It is amazing that the philosophical issues we discuss, are the same ones I remember discussing with him. In particular, I remember discussing with him evidence of Hashem’s existence.  

David mentioned this Shabbos the idea of using the memory of a loved one to inspire us to do good things. This helps keep our loved ones spiritually alive within us and continue their presence in our world. This is really a beautiful idea that has helped me a lot.

One of the ideas we discussed this Shabbos, is how scientific knowledge keeps changing, but Torah does not. An example we discussed is the once held scientific belief that everything revolved around the earth. Of course, later scientific belief changed to the earth revolving around the sun. Later, scientific belief changed once again, and now we know that the sun as well as every other object in the universe is moving.

The Torah has always stayed the same, although it does need to be applied to a changing world. The Torah has always held that earth was a special place, but never suggested that everything in the universe physically revolved around it. Another example is that the Torah always held that time had a beginning, whereas scientific knowledge use to be that time always existed.

We had a discussion this Shabbos about this apparent new scientific discovery that particles can go back in time. This brings up questions, like can time really run backwards? Can we really return to the past? Of course an all-powerful God could change the state of the universe to be exactly what it was in the past, effectively moving us back in time. Perhaps what this new discovery has revealed, is part of the mechanism that would make something like this happen.  There are a lot of mechanisms built into the physical world, designed by the creator to carry out his will.   David shared with me his father’s take on this, which is that Hashem has not changed his mind yet and the direction of time is forward!

We discussed this Shabbos from Rav Malamed the holiday of Chanukah. We discussed the number 8, which is the number of days in Chanukah, and the day on which we perform and have Brit Milah. We discussed how a Brit Milah finishes the act of creating the human body on the 8th day. It symbolizes how Hashem creates the world in 6 days and then rests on the 7th day. On the 8th day man works on finishing the act of creation.

We discussed how 8 is an important number with Chanukah. For 8 days the oil burned when there was only enough oil for 1 day.  The burning did not continue for 7 days after the oil was used up. The amount of oil used each of 8 days was only 1/8th what it would usually be. The miracle is how Hashem intervened to make this happen. Miracles can happen to us today just like they happened back then.  Chanukah helps remind us of Hashem and miracles.

We discussed this Shabbos from Rav Yeager parsha Vayeishev. We discussed how in the parsha Joseph gets thrown into a pit and later sold off to become a slave in Egypt. We discussed the conflict that Jacob had with his brother Easu. Jacob wanted to have an arrangement with Easu, wherein Easu would engage in the physical world and help provide for both himself and Jacob. Meanwhile, Jacob would engage in spiritual pursuits. However, it did not work out.  Easu ended up rejecting spirituality and became emerged and engulfed in physicality.

We discussed how Jacob then had no choice but to engage in physicality. But unlike Easu, he did it in a way that used physicality as a platform for spirituality. Easu became very jealous of his brother’s success, and there was a lot of conflict between the two. We discussed how this conflict continued through to the descendants of Easu and Jacob. At some point Jacob had to choose which of his children would be the best antidote for Easu and his descendants, and he choose Joseph. As we know, this choosing made Joseph’s brothers extremely jealous, and they ended up throw him into a pit and then selling him into slavery.

We discussed why Joseph was such a good antidote to Easu. Brian Rubin pointed out that an antidote should have some of the “bad” as well as the solution. In this case Joseph had some of Easu, in the form of the desire to engage in physicality, but also had spirituality to channel the physicality in the right direction. We discussed how the result of using physicality as a platform for spirituality, by using the ideas that come from our Torah and religion, results in the maximum possible success.

David told a story from his father, Rav Dr. George Schlesinger, how Joseph was so successful Potifar ended up believing Joseph over his own wife! Of course, Potifar still had no choice but to put Joseph in jail, but it ended up being a special type of arrangement in which Joseph excelled.

Today is the fourth year anniversary of these notes based on the Hebrew calander, I started doing them shortly after my father passed away 4 years ago. The notes have helped me honor my father and I would like them to help honor everyone’s loved ones as well.  If you can help remember my father, especially on his yahrzeit this Tuesday, that is really appreciated.

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.