This Shabbos we discussed parsha Mikeitz, including commentary by Rav Yeager. We discussed the holiday of Chanukah, including commentary by Rav Malamed. And we discussed some other topics. David Schlesinger led discussion. We were happy to welcome a lot of guys from the Yeshiva this Shabbos.
We discussed how we face temptations in life that may provide us some short term benefits, but these are at the expense of long term well-being. We know the temptations that were in the Garden of Eden. Today in the modern world, we face all types of temptations that may bring us some short term reward. But using our free will to avoid temptations will bring us long term rewards.
We discussed how we often face short term vs long term decisions. For example, David commented that it is tempting in ones 20’s to buy as many physical goods and services as possible, especially when one may be experiencing the freedom to do this for the first time. But by starting to save money early in life, one can save twice as much than they would if they started saving in their 30’s. I once read a book on this, and this is very true that starting ones savings as early as possible is very beneficial.
David brought up a couple suggestions that will help make us more successful in life. The first of these is to work towards solving problems, rather than to blame problems for a lack of progress. If our attempts at solving the problems fail, try something else. We discussed how the last thing that our boss at work wants to hear is that we can’t do anything because of a problem. What our boss does want to hear is that there is a problem, but what we are doing to help solve it.
The same way we should not blame a problem for lack of progress at work, we should not blame a problem for lack of progress in life and expect Hashem to fix it unless we have made a resonable effort to do our part. The second suggestion David brought up, is that the effort we make in life to solve problems and make progress should be reasonable and logical before we conclude we have done the best we can and can have faith in Hashem to assist us further. For example, if we are out of money, buying lottery tickets is not making a reasonable effort in which we can expect Hashem to help us. However, if we come up with a plan and strategy to get a job including interviewing and asking friends about openings, and then start implementing this plan, that might be a reasonable and logical effort.
Once we have done our part, having faith in Hashem that we do not have to control everything is important. We should live in peace, knowing that even “bad” things that happen to us are just an experience and part of Hashem’s world. In Hashem's world, what's "bad" can be "good", we just don't have the same access to the complete picture as Hashem does. We may lose a job or a relationship and be very sad only to realize the next job or relationship is better than anything we have had yet to date. This has happened to me before! Sometimes we discover years later why something "bad" may have happened. This has also happened to me. “Bad” things may actually lead us to become closer to Hashem, closer to our families, or provide an opportunity to have a virtuous response, an idea that David’s father, Dr. George Schlesinger has spoken and written articles about. Hashem designed the world to maximize our opportunities to do mitzvahs and grow spiritually.
Hashem also designed the world so we would all have the opportunity to finish the act of creation. We have discussed how Brit Milah is something we do to help finish the act of creation. Some of the other ways we can help finish the act of creation is by doing work, raising families, and serving in the military. All these can help make the world a better place. We discussed that it is important that we have a balance of learning Torah and contributing to the world and being partners in the act of creation.
We discussed this Shabbos the importance of accepting Jews no matter where they are on their paths. If anything, we should look at the vector or direction people are going with their Judaism, and their progress rather than where they are at. I can not express how grateful I am personally that the community here in Memphis did not judge me when I lived downtown and was very secular. I can remember going to the Rabbi’s house on Shabbos night to his open house and he never would exclude anyone. If he had excluded me, I do not know if I would have continued to progress because it was at his Kiddush that I met people who invited me to the Kiddush and minyans I go to today. I actually had fears that I would be judged, and if I had been I doubt I would have had any growth in Judaism at all.
This Shabbos we discussed the holiday of Chanukah. We discussed how observing Chanukah is one of 7 mitzvah’s that were implemented by Rabbis, other than mitzvahs designed to help us keep Torah level commandments. We discussed how woman should be involved in Chanukah in lighting the candles of their own menorah, even though this is a time dependent mitzvah, as they were involved in the miracle of the oil and our triumph over the surrounding culture.
We discussed how we light Chanukah candles before Shabbot candles on Shabbos night. We discussed how it is necessary to use extra-long candles, which can be created by cutting the wicks shorter. If someone is in a hospital or somewhere that flames are not allowed or safe, it is permitted to use electric menorahs. It is also not required to relight candles that have gone out, as long as we made a reasonable effort to not have the candles at unnecessary risk of this happening.
Finally, one of the most important traditions is that the menorah be in plain view of the outside, during the hours that workers come home right after sunset. David shared how his guys in Israel have a menorah right out on the porch facing the street. Here in Memphis, we should try to place menorahs so they face clearly out the window.
This is a summary of what we discussed. No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.
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