Recap for 20 Sh'vat 5776 (Parsha Yitro)

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Yitro, including commentary from Rav Yeager. We also discussed the prohibitions against working on Shabbos. David Schlesinger led discussion.

We discussed that there are 39 categories of work that are prohibited on Shabbos. We discussed how the work we are prohibited from performing on Shabbos is that work which was involved in creating the mishkan. Dave W pointed out that only 1 of the 39 categories of work is explicitly mentioned in the Torah. This is the prohibition against creating fire.

We discussed that much of the work that is prohibited, is not allowed because of rabbinic halakhah. Two examples we discussed are playing music on Shabbos and riding a bicycle. The Rabbis were concerned that we might be tempted to repair musical instruments and bicycles on Shabbos.  We discussed how with bicycles, there was the additional concern that we risked tearing down tree branches.

We discussed 2 exceptions to the prohibition against work on Shabbos. One of these is in order to save a life. We discussed that “saving a life” is defined very broadly. If we have any doubt whatsoever, we are not only permitted to do normally prohibited work, but we are commanded to do so. It is very important to consult with a Rabbi on this. The other exception, is the permissibility of doing sacrifices on Shabbos.

We discussed situations in which we are commanded, or at least expected, to “have” certain emotions. For example, at a funeral we are sad.  And at a wedding we are joyous. David pointed out that it can be hard to turn emotions off and on, so what we are really commanded to do is actions, which often lead to the emotions or at least support the emotions of others. For example, at a wedding we dance even if we don’t feel like it. At a funeral, we refrain from the type of socializing and joking we would do at a kiddush.

We discussed parsha Yitro, and how at first Moshe wanted to be the sole source of knowledge, with everyone coming to him for advice and dispute resolution. Moshe believed that the best way to teach knowledge would be for him to give advice to people with respect to events happening in their lives. Yitro, however, had a different model, and encouraged Moshe to appoint and delegate to others. Eventually Moshe agreed, and followed Yitro’s advice.

We discussed how concentration of knowledge can be a problem for society, just as concentration of wealth. However there are some advantages in concentrating knowledge - as we can see from later in the parsha with what happens at Mount Sinai. We discussed how the people begged Moshe to be their source of knowledge, rather than receiving it directly from Hashem. The people could not handle the intensity of Hashem’s revelation directly.

We discussed how there are only 2 places in the Torah that the phrase “lo tov” is used. One of these is in the week’s parsha, when Yitro says it is “lo tov” that Moshe is trying to do everything.  The other place is in Beirishit when Hashem says it is “lo tov” that Adam is alone.  Dave W pointed out that Adam was very lonely. We discussed how we were not created to be alone, and this is why Hashem created this emotion of loneliness. We were meant to join with others in our homes and communities.  I related to all this personally.

Finally, we discussed that we have holidays that were determined by the Rabbis, however these were already hinted to in the Torah. Months such as Tevet have always been known as sad months. Months like Adar, have always been known as happy months but it was not until later that the holiday of Purim was instituted.

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

Recap for 15 Sh'vat 5776 (Parsha Bashalach and redemption in our lives)

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Bashalach, including commentary by Rav Yeager.  We also discussed halakhah and customs related to Shabbos meals.  I would like to thank Norm for hosting the Kiddush and Learning this Shabbos.

We discussed how the 3 Shabbos meals, known as Seudah, are very important mitzvah.  For these meals we make a special effort to have our best food.  This is especially important for the Shabbos day meal, considered the most important meal, which ideally should be held before mid day.  The model we follow with an early minyan ensures that we fully carry out this mitzvah!

We discussed that if our very best food will lose its freshness, we can have it for the Shabbos night meal. The last meal, Seudah Shlishit is also very important.  We should try to save some room for this and have a little something.  All 3 Shabbos meals are important.  

  

One of the concepts we discussed related to this is that mitzvahs can be pleasurable and do not necessarily have to involve effort and work.  Having a Kiddush with cholent, potato kugel, herring, salami, and our favorite beverages can be a very pleasurable thing!  But it is very important to understand why we are doing this.  We enjoy the physical pleasure Hashem and our friends provide us.  But we have a mitzvah to apply spirituality, especially on Shabbos.  That's why it is very important to wash, bench, remember Hashem who is the ultimate source, and learn some Torah as well as eat and drink.  The physical pleasures should be used to enhance the spirituality of the day.

  

We discussed the idea that the mitzvah of having meals on Shabbos is so important, that it reduces the likelihood and/or experience of Gehinnom.  It order to maximize these benefits, it is necessary to apply spirituality to the meals.  David shared thoughts from his father, Dr. Rav George Schlesinger, on how our concept of Gehinnom differs from the concept of other religions.  We believe Gehinnom to involve a cleansing process, rather than punishment.  It is not necessarily pleasant, so we should be motivated to avoid it, but it is not cruel and indefinite either.

We discussed how Purim can actually be the hardest holiday for us.  We discussed how fasting can certainly be a challenge on Yom Kippur, but it is not that difficult to figure out what we have to do.  However Purim can be a challenge, as we are heavily engaged in physical pursuits and it is easy to get lost and forget the purpose of it all.  It is very easy to just have fun dancing and partying, and forget the spiritual meaning and apply spirituality.

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Beshalach.  We discussed how our redemption from Egypt was sudden.  Usually in life changes involve a process and come about slowly.  However, in this case Hashem did not see us being freed from Egypt with a slow process, and helped us get out in a sudden way.    

We discussed how, although we could not leave Egypt as part of a process, when we make change gradually it is more sustainable.  This is certainly true in our personal life.  At least that is my experience, as a Baal Teshuva.  I gradually met people, participated in events, and became more observant.  This process is still continuing with me, and with everyone as we gradually grow spiritually.  On the other hand, there has been times during my life I’ve been a “slave” and was redeemed suddenly, thanks to Hashem and my friends who helped me.  So although it may be more sustainable to make gradual change through our own efforts, it is often necessary for Hashem to intervene with change that comes about suddenly.  

We discussed how after we left Egypt, our journey to receive the Torah was gradual.  This is in contrast to our leaving which was sudden.  In fact Hashem said he was not going to take us on a quicker route because it was shorter.  Hashem knew that gradual change would be more sustainable for us, and wanted us to get ready to receive the Torah gradually.  A longer journey to Mt. Sinai would give us more time.

We discussed how our leaving Egypt was just the beginning, and how later in our history we will experience the ultimate redemption if we do our part.  It is believed that the ultimate redemption will include what is known as the messianic era, a time in which we are fully accepted as Jews, everyone lives in connection with, and belief in Hashem, and the world no longer contains the types of conflict that currently exist.  In our personal life, we can all experience an ultimate redemption as well.  Unlike some of the earlier redemptions in our life, the ultimate redemption comes about gradually and involves our own efforts as well as that of Hashem.

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

Recap for 28 Tevet 5776 (Parsha Va’eira)

This Shabbos, we discussed halakhah having to do with speech, including commentary by Rav Malamed. We discussed parsha Va’eira, including commentary by Rav Yeager. David Schlesinger led discussion.

We discussed the importance of not saying lashan hara. Lashan hara is speaking, or communicating, negative information about someone. Even though the information may be true, it is still considered lashan hara.  If the information is not true, this is slander and considered even worse.  We need to be careful indirectly saying negative things about people, for example saying negative things about a restaurant that is owned by a Jew.  We did discuss an exception, in which case it is permitted, and may even be obligated, to give warnings about people who may be harmful.

We discussed the importance of being honest in Judaism, and speaking the truth.  We had some discussion of exactly what is reality and the truth.  Sometimes, different people can perceive things differently. Another issue is when there is a gap between what we know, and reality. We discussed different combinations, such as knowing what we know, not knowing what we don’t know, knowing what we don’t know. It is even possible to not know what we know. For example, one may believe he has completely forgotten a foreign language, yet upon reading a foreign newspaper, discover that he has not forgotten that much.

We discussed why it is important to be honest. Hashem’s plans for us are based on reality. If we tell ourselves lies, we are putting ourselves in a position to journey into territory that is not part of Hashem’s plans.  Hashem may not go along with us.  It is also, of course, very self-centered to be dishonest to others. Those we speak to are being fooled into believing things, in order to suit our own self-centered needs. However, having said this we are not always required to tell the whole truth. For example, if someone asks us what we do for a living, we do not have to list everything. At a job interview, the interviewer would expect us to steer towards our positive traits, but out right lying would be wrong.

We did discuss some possible exceptions when total honesty would not be a great idea.  As is sometimes the case, moral values can be in conflict. For example, there can be conflict between kindness and honesty.  David told a story from his Dad about making sure we say positive things towards our wives at all times!  If someone asks what we think of them or something about them, sometimes we need to filter out information that would hurt their feelings. On the other hand, if we are always giving positive feedback, at some point people may stop believing us! So it really is a balancing act. 

We discussed how in the parsha, Hashem uses 4 different ways to describe the redemption. These are symbolized by the 4 cups of wine that we drink on Pesach. Dave W shared that we also remember our experiences, with our davening from the siddur. In particular, the section after the Amidah Hashem charges the angels to look after us.

We discussed how there was an order to how we became slaves. We started out being prosperous and living a good life, holding leadership positions in Egypt. Then there was a new king, who started to tax us. Then we were put to work at hard labor. And then finally we became slaves.

We discussed how slavery in Judaism is only meant to be temporary, for example as a way to pay off one’s debt. However, this was not the intentions of Pharaoh.  Although Moses spoke to us and told us we would be freed, we really did not listen. And if we would not listen, Moses certainly had no reason to believe Pharaoh would listen.

We discussed how just like the first step towards us becoming slaves was taking away our self-worth and value as a people, the first step in our redemption was gaining a sense of self-worth and self-confidence. It was tough for us as we had not experienced freedom before and did not know what it was like. We had a great fear of the unknown.  We really needed a leader like Moshe to motivate us.

We discussed that it was important that Moses communicate to us in a way that would appeal to us, and motivate us. This is similar to what might happen in a corporate setting. A VP may simply tell a manager he has 30 days to correct a problem. The manager should then find ways to communicate with his employees, that are more motivating than simply saying “you have 30 days to fix the problem”.  At first Moshe did not speak to the people in a motivating way, but eventually he communicated a lot better.

We discussed how in order to bring about change in our personal life, we may go through the same process as we did in our history. First we are brought down, then we gain self-confidence, and self-worth, and then we learn a new way to live.

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

Recap for 21 Tivet 5776 (Parsha Shemot)

This Shabbos we discussed parsha Shemot, including commentary from Rav Yeager. We discussed some halakhah related to providing meals for others, including commentary from Rav Malamed. And we reviewed and discussed some of the ideas that are central to Judaism.

We discussed the idea in Judaism that we do not reject physicality completely, but apply spirituality to the physical world we live in. Some of the ways we apply spirituality include saying blessings over food, performing mitzvahs, and doing tikkun olam. We apply spirituality by carrying out our mission, that we use our talents, and positions within our community, to finish the act of creation which Hashem has started.

Hashem wants us to enjoy the world, but also wants us to practive moderation and channel physicality for spiritual purposes.  For example, we have large meals and enjoy the best food on Shabbos, but we do not do this every day. We may enjoy wine and other beverages but have limits on this as well. It is important that we control and channel other physical desires such as those related to sexuality. We discussed how “run-away”, uncontrolled physicality became a problem for Jacob’s brother Esau, and for a lot of societies that have not lasted as long as our Jewish nation.

We discussed how the week’s parsha, Shemot, starts a new book of the Torah. We discussed how the books of the parsha are named after a word that appears in the beginning of the book. In this case the word, shemot, means “names” and is very descriptive of the book of Exodus.  In the book, a lot of names are mentioned at first, but then no longer mentioned as we become slaves.  When we were slaves, we were not free to have a relationship with God and carry on any mission so it as if we had no name at all. 

When we are born it may appear that our parents choose a name for us, but it is believed that this name may actually be influenced by Hashem who influences the people who seem to be doing the naming.  Hashem chooses a name based on his plans for us.  The names of communities and entire countries may have significance as well, not just individual names.

We discussed how everything is God’s plan for us, including our becoming slaves. Jacob and his sons and their families may have come to Egypt to have what they thought would be a better life, with the opportunity to make a living, but Hashem’s plans went much beyond that. It was Hashem’s plans that we become slaves, so he could later redeem us, we could see how he loved us and helped us, we could receive the Torah, and we could remember this through-out our history. To this day, it is a commandment and great mitzvah to remember that Hashem helped free us from slavery, and to celebrate the holiday of Pesach to help in this remembrance.  All of this can happen in our personal lives as well. We can become slaves, perhaps not physically, but mentally and/or spiritually, Hashem can free us, and we can grow from the experience. 

We discussed how, although we became slaves in Egypt, one of the great things that happened in Egypt is that we became a nation. We started off as a family, from which came Moses, who became one of the great leaders of the Jewish people.
 

We discussed some of the reasons why Hashem choose Moses to lead us. We discussed how Moses was in touch with the emotions and realities of the people.  Moses was able to empathize, and knew that the best approach would be to motivate and encourage, rather than to be strict and punish for every imperfection. Moses argued this point to Hashem, and actually won Hashem’s admiration for being willing to question and offer suggestions to the ultimate authority, Hashem.

David shared how this is similar to working in an organization, in a leadership position. It is important to question and make suggestions of ones supervisors, although of course do so in a respectful way. When interviewing for one of these positions, it may be helpful to demonstrate one’s willingness and ability to do so.

We discussed how Moses was also chosen to be leader for his outstanding character, and willingness to do what is right, rather than what is best for him personally. Moses would not have had to run away and hide if he had not killed the Egyptian, but it was the right thing to do, and put what is right over his own personal comfort.

Finally, we discussed some halakha related to providing meals for those who do not have a place to go. If we see strangers in the street without a place to have a meal, we should invite them into our homes. We may think we are only inviting them in because they are hungry, but we are also helping to enable them to perform mitzvahs such as washing, benching, and learning and discussing Torah over a meal.

If someone comes to visit us at our house, while we are having a meal, on any day of the week, we should invite them to stay regardless of whether or not they have a place to go.  However, in many cases those invited to have a meal, have an obligation to refuse such an invitation, especially if the family offering is poor and simply inviting us to follow halakha and be nice.

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.