This Shabbos, we discussed halakhah having to do with speech, including commentary by Rav Malamed. We discussed parsha Va’eira, including commentary by Rav Yeager. David Schlesinger led discussion.
We discussed the importance of not saying lashan hara. Lashan hara is speaking, or communicating, negative information about someone. Even though the information may be true, it is still considered lashan hara. If the information is not true, this is slander and considered even worse. We need to be careful indirectly saying negative things about people, for example saying negative things about a restaurant that is owned by a Jew. We did discuss an exception, in which case it is permitted, and may even be obligated, to give warnings about people who may be harmful.
We discussed the importance of being honest in Judaism, and speaking the truth. We had some discussion of exactly what is reality and the truth. Sometimes, different people can perceive things differently. Another issue is when there is a gap between what we know, and reality. We discussed different combinations, such as knowing what we know, not knowing what we don’t know, knowing what we don’t know. It is even possible to not know what we know. For example, one may believe he has completely forgotten a foreign language, yet upon reading a foreign newspaper, discover that he has not forgotten that much.
We discussed why it is important to be honest. Hashem’s plans for us are based on reality. If we tell ourselves lies, we are putting ourselves in a position to journey into territory that is not part of Hashem’s plans. Hashem may not go along with us. It is also, of course, very self-centered to be dishonest to others. Those we speak to are being fooled into believing things, in order to suit our own self-centered needs. However, having said this we are not always required to tell the whole truth. For example, if someone asks us what we do for a living, we do not have to list everything. At a job interview, the interviewer would expect us to steer towards our positive traits, but out right lying would be wrong.
We did discuss some possible exceptions when total honesty would not be a great idea. As is sometimes the case, moral values can be in conflict. For example, there can be conflict between kindness and honesty. David told a story from his Dad about making sure we say positive things towards our wives at all times! If someone asks what we think of them or something about them, sometimes we need to filter out information that would hurt their feelings. On the other hand, if we are always giving positive feedback, at some point people may stop believing us! So it really is a balancing act.
We discussed how in the parsha, Hashem uses 4 different ways to describe the redemption. These are symbolized by the 4 cups of wine that we drink on Pesach. Dave W shared that we also remember our experiences, with our davening from the siddur. In particular, the section after the Amidah Hashem charges the angels to look after us.
We discussed how there was an order to how we became slaves. We started out being prosperous and living a good life, holding leadership positions in Egypt. Then there was a new king, who started to tax us. Then we were put to work at hard labor. And then finally we became slaves.
We discussed how slavery in Judaism is only meant to be temporary, for example as a way to pay off one’s debt. However, this was not the intentions of Pharaoh. Although Moses spoke to us and told us we would be freed, we really did not listen. And if we would not listen, Moses certainly had no reason to believe Pharaoh would listen.
We discussed how just like the first step towards us becoming slaves was taking away our self-worth and value as a people, the first step in our redemption was gaining a sense of self-worth and self-confidence. It was tough for us as we had not experienced freedom before and did not know what it was like. We had a great fear of the unknown. We really needed a leader like Moshe to motivate us.
We discussed that it was important that Moses communicate to us in a way that would appeal to us, and motivate us. This is similar to what might happen in a corporate setting. A VP may simply tell a manager he has 30 days to correct a problem. The manager should then find ways to communicate with his employees, that are more motivating than simply saying “you have 30 days to fix the problem”. At first Moshe did not speak to the people in a motivating way, but eventually he communicated a lot better.
We discussed how in order to bring about change in our personal life, we may go through the same process as we did in our history. First we are brought down, then we gain self-confidence, and self-worth, and then we learn a new way to live.
This is a summary of what we discussed. No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.
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