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Monday, August 8, 2016

Recap for 2 Av 5776 (Parsha Matot-Masseit)


This Shabbos we continued our discussion of Torah v’Derech Eretz. We discussed Parshas Matot and Masseit. We discussed observance of Tisha B’Av, including the 9 day period. And we discussed the topic of human memory. I would like to thank David and Linda for hosting our Kiddush and Learning, and Zev Samuels, a regular reader of these notes, for hosting a later Kiddush at Anshei. David Schlesinger led discussion.

We discussed from Leo Levy’s book, how we live within the confines of the physical world, and should not pray for miracles that would necessitate divine intervention, once something has been determined. One of the examples we discussed, is that once the sex of a baby is determined we should not pray for the child to be born a baby boy or baby girl. An all-powerful God can of course change the sex of a baby, but we should not pray for this to happen. Another example we discussed, if the fire trucks are on the way to a neighborhood to put out a fire, we should not pray for it not to be our house, since the house has already been determined.  

If we are not sure whether or not something has been determined, we can pray for it. Harold Katz, a regular reader of these notes, told me they were not sure whether or not his wife was pregnant on Rosh Hashanah, but prayed for a boy, regardless, after already having 2 girls. Coincidentally, the Haftorah at the time was about Hannah who was also praying for a child. Thanks to Hashem, like in the Haftorah, the Katz were able to have a boy.

We discussed that even if something has not been determined, we cannot live our life relying on prayer and miracles. We must do our part, to the best of our ability, to carry out Hashem’s will for us, follow the Torah, and help finish the act of creation by doing work as we are discussing in our Torah v’Derech Eretz class. If we do our part, Hashem will do his. But we cannot rely on Hashem, we must take action ourselves.

This Shabbos, David shared from his father, Harav Nattan Ben Harav Shmuel , that we remember things that have meaning to us. I personally can remember my Barmitzvah, and where I was and with whom on 9/11. However, I cannot remember what I was doing a day, week, or month after these events.

This Shabbos we discussed the parsha and the importance of vows. We discussed how when we make a vow, it rises up to the importance of a Torah level commandment. We discussed how Hashem and others rely on our vows. One of the interesting examples we discussed, is the case of a person who vows to fast in order to save someone else's life. If the life ends up being saved, the person who made the vow still has to fast.  Hashem saves lives with the expectation that vows will be carried out.

Rob shared how we can sometimes get out of a vow, however this requires an appearance in front of a special court that may no longer be operating today. Perhaps someone can testify that if he was aware of certain facts he would not have made the vow, and the court will relieve him of the vow. There are also cases where a spouse can cancel the vows of the other spouse, and where parents can cancel the vows of their children. It is best to be very careful making vows, and to always include a “way out”, by including phrases such as “god willing”.

We discussed the great importance of speech in general. It is of utmost importance to be honest, as Hashem and others rely on what we say. It is also important to not say negative things about others – LaShan Hara. David shared from his father a story in which a person lets others know of someone’s dishonest indirectly, in order to avoid saying LaShan Hara. He describes the dishonest person as having such a good memory, he remembers things that didn’t occur.

We discussed how speech is how we differ from other animals. We discussed how speech reflects our character, and how our character is shaped by our speech. We discussed how the best way to improve our character is to start off with changing our behavior, which includes our speech.

We discussed T’sha B’av. The observance of this day reminds us that we have not accepted the status quo of not having a temple and being dispersed out into the diaspora. We discussed that perhaps this is the most important holiday for a secular Jew to observe. We discussed some of the customs we have as part of mourning, such as not shaving, getting haircuts, and taking baths, however there may be exceptions to these so it is important to speak to a Rabbi. On the day of T’sha B’av we fast, if we are medically able to do so.  We should discuss any fast with our doctor and rabbis.

This is a summary of what we discussed.  No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.

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