This Shabbos we discussed parsha Vayeitzei, including commentary by Rav Yeager and Rav Males. And we discussed some of the material from past parsha, including commentary by Efroni. David Schlesinger led discussion.
Rav Males gave a dvar Torah about birth order and marriage. We do not have to allow the oldest sibling to be the first to get married. However, if 2 siblings are about to get married at around the same time, there is a custom to let the older sibling get married first.
Efroni posted a video dvar Torah recently. Efroni speaks about the dynamics of the relationship between Abraham and Sarah. Sarah stays at home and is more introverted, as Abraham goes out and is more extroverted. Efroni speaks about how this pattern continues with the relationship between Isaac and Rivka, but in this case Rivka is the extrovert, and Yitzhak is the introvert. Efroni comments that Yitzhak prefers Esau because Esau reminds him of his father.
Efroni comments that the relationship between the brothers, Esau and Jacob, was intended to be complimentary – Jacob would stay home and develop spiritually, while Esau would go out and take care of the physical needs of both brothers. However Esau does not keep his end of the bargain, and eventually it is agreed that Jacob would be the one to continue the covenant that Hashem established with our ancestors.
David commented some more on this topic of relationships between 2 people who are not identical. David relayed from his father, Rav Dr. George N Schlesinger, the 3 options one has when their spouse has interests that differ. Option 1 is to refuse to go along. Option 2 is to go along reluctantly and not have a good time. Option 3 is to go along and be happy that your spouse is having a good time. Option 3 is the way to go in order to have a successful, and happy relationship between 2 people with different interests.
We discussed some ideas about prayer. One of these is that Hashem sometimes says “no”. An atheist may believe there is no God when prayers are not answered, but we know that Hashem is going to do what’s best, and sometimes saying “no” is what is best. However, one way to get Hashem to say “yes” is to pray for others suffering from the same dilemmas that we suffer from.
We discussed how in the parsha, Rivka prayed for a child, however it took a long time before she gave birth to Jacob and Esau. We discussed that Hashem would have been more likely to help them earlier on, if they had prayed from the beginning for all those who share this same dilemma of being childless. We discussed how if we have a situation in which we are suffering, such as being sick, depressed, grieving or lonely, by trying to help those who are suffering in the same way, Hashem will notice our efforts and will help us.
We discussed how when we do pray, we should pray for that which has not already been decided, and that which can take place within the confines of nature. Rob mentioned an example, which is praying for a not guilty verdict. We should pray for this verdict before the jury has made its decision, rather than afterwards. We can pray for things to happen, but David commented that we should put our focus in life on what we have the most control over.
Rob gave a dvar Torah in which he commented that Hashem did the act of creation but then gets “out of the way” to allow us to finish the act of creation. Although Hashem is “out of the way”, Jacob’s dream makes clear that we always have a connection to Hashem and the world to come, symbolized by the ladder, with angels travelling up and down. When we do mitzvah on earth, an angel “travels” to heaven up the ladder and comes back with blessings for us.
This is a summary of what we discussed. No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.
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