This Shabbos we discussed the upcoming observance of Tisha B’Av, and the period of mourning that precedes this. I would like to express condolences to David, Linda and their family on the loss of Shulamith Schlesinger, mother and grandmother. Please try to attend our early minyan and come on time, so we can have a minyan for David and also Howard, who recently lost his mother, to say Kaddish.
David spoke about how his mother, Shulamit, came from Lithuania to Israel when she was a child. In Israel she met her husband, Rav Dr George Shlesinger. During her life she and her husband lived in several different places including Israel, England, Australia and the United States, in this order. In addition to being a mother, Shulamith was also a school teacher, and Rabbetzin. Efroni commented that his grandmother helped defend Israel, the country she loved, just as he has done. Ariav commented that his grandmother had a lot of expertise in Tanack, the Hebrew language, and all the different places in Israel.
This Shabbos we discussed the upcoming observance of Tisha B’Av, and the minor fast days as well. David Schlesinger led discussion. Tisha B’Av is the day the temples were destroyed, the spies returned with a bleak report, and many other tragedies occured. Most of the minor fast days are related to the Temple as well. We discussed that when the second Temple was built, we stopped observing the fast days, other than Yom Kippur. When the Temple was destroyed we started observing them again. When the third Temple is built, the fast days will become days of celebration and we will no longer fast.
Tisha B’Av is a major fast day, like Yom Kippur. On the major fast days, we fast, avoiding food and drink for 25 hours. There are exceptions, especially for those who are pregnant, vulnerable, and/or sick. This should be discussed with one’s Rabbi. We discussed how on Tisha B’Av and Yom Kippur we do not wear leather shoes. Historically there may have been exceptions, and ways to make a leather shoe uncomfortable. This should be discussed with one's Rabbi if it is not possible to acquire non-leather shoes.
We discussed the meal immediately prior to the fast of Tisha B’Av, which is a small meal that follows a large meal that occurred earlier. During the smaller “separation meal”, we sit in low chairs and eat round food, such as hard boiled eggs, dipped in ash. Instead of eating eggs, some eat lentils and other round food. David commented that the custom of eating eggs is similar to the meal prepared for mourners upon returning from a funeral.
We discussed how prior to Tisha B’Av there is a 3 week period of mourning that becomes more intense the 9 days prior to Tisha B’Av. During the 3 weeks we refrain from listening to music and getting haircuts, amongst other prohibitions. During the 9 days, we refrain from eating meat and drinking wine, except for Shabbos. During the 9 days, we also refrain from swimming or bathing for pleasure. Customs may differ with Sephardi, and there may be exceptions, for example eating meat following the completion of a tractate. All this should be discussed with one's Rabbi.
David talked about how these periods of mourning prior to Tisha B’Av have similarities to the period of mourning known as Shlosim, in which one who is mourning the loss of a loved one also does not listen to music or get haircuts. We discussed the case in which someone finds himself in the situation in which one mourning period follows another. In some cases it may be permissible to take a 1 day break, and get haircuts and listen to music. One should check with their Rabbi.
We discussed the minor fast days. On the minor fast days we fast from sun up until sun down. We are more lenient as far as making exceptions - allowing one to be able to drink and/or have food - than we are for the major fast days.
We discussed how holidays such as Sukkot, can be a much harder to observe in a meaningful way, than Yom Kippur. This is because on holidays such as Sukkot, one experiences great distraction of physical things and pleasures such as food and drink. Every now and then, on Yom Kippur, and a lesser extent on Shabbos, we remove physicality which helps eliminate distractions allowing us to focus on the spiritual. However, we discussed that as Jews our purpose is to bring spirituality to the physical world, “elevating the sparks of kiddusha”, which is why we do not separate ourselves from physicality during all the time, and do include the physical to a large extent on holidays and Shabbos.
Efroni spoke about how we are often simply given fundamentals in the Torah, and then it is up to us by listening to our Rabbis, to interpret given the current times we live in and come up with how we should live our lives. Efroni spoke about how we often disagree on interpretation, and that neither side is right or wrong. However, in some cases the Torah is very clear, and there is not much room left for interpretation. If a so called prophet contradicts the Torah, we should listen to the Torah.
David told a story about his dad, Rav Dr George Schlesinger, who would give a speech telling the audience that it will be very long, and the only permissible reason to look at watches would be to see if they still work. After 4 or 5 minutes, the speech would end to the surprise of everyone!
This is a summary of what we discussed. No halachic rulings are intended or should be inferred.
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